Cachapas + Herby Cilantro Cheeze

Whelp, here we are, fellow humans. Hi again. I never thought I’d reboot this blog under the auspices of a, er…global pandemic. It’s a new decade, I’m hitting 30 this year, and the world as we know it is a dumpster fire of absurd proportions. A sea of malodorous, soul-withering flames to be exact. I’ve…

The Big Bad Breakfast Cookie

Behold: a fantasy among children and adults alike; a timesaver for those who are not morning people (*raises hand*); a miracle of miracles; a breakfast that is dessert. No, it’s not your beloved Cookie Crisp, but it is the taste and look of cookies for breakfast! Minus Chip the dog (Cookie Crisp’s questionably brain-damaged mascot), 40…

New Year, New You Dinner Bowl

New year, new you? New year, new foods! For all of you go-getters clamoring to invest in a $1000 juice cleanse and “detox*” from the barrels of alcohol and bricks of sugar you consumed in the latter part of 2017: have I got the plan for you. It’ll regulate your digestion and get rid of…

Jalapeño Creamed Cornbread

In my day (the mid-to-late 90s), Thanksgiving for vegetarians meant a big ol’ plate of salty, grease-laden carbohydrates. My sister and I were thankful for one thing and one thing only on Thanksgiving: we could pile as much starch on our plates as we wanted, without so much as a side eye from the boss (aka…

Tatchos with The BEST Vegan Queso

If ever there were a dish of true (food) pornographic proportions, Tatchos are it. If you’re asking what the hell tatchos are, hold on to the germ-ridden seat of your pants, kiddos: these are nachos with tater tots in place of tortilla chips. Nachos à la Napoleon Dynamite, if you will. These tots are topped with tex-mex style chorizo, rich and spicy queso, and an herby avocado sauce. If this doesn’t sound appetizing, you’re a freakin’ idiot.

Coconut Broth + 2 Noodle Soups

Nothing says summer like a piping hot bowl of brothy noodle soup, am I right? Clearly I can’t do in-season foods. Happy July, y’all.

That Purple Stuff Smoothie

Whether you’re fighting allergies or something else right now, you’ll want this purple stuff smoothie on hand when you need to perk up and do things like live your life and breath oxygen.

Easy Breakfast Potatoes with Sumac and Lemon

I judge breakfast the same way I judge people: how they handle a potato. If you dish up hash browns charred and greasy on the outside but almost raw on the inside – that’s cute, but no. Sans onion? Sans garlic? No thought as to how to season these flavor vehicles from the heavens? Get out of my house. You have hot sauce…

Cheezy Shells

  Velveeta shells and cheese is that boxed pasta dinner that we all pretended was disgusting but secretly inhaled by ourselves when we needed a 4,000 calorie pick-me-up. Back in the day I actually added to the horror by mixing heavy cream into that plasticky orange goo before adding the shells. I could also consume the whole box in…